Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Potty Antics

A couple of days ago, I was in Walmart with the girls standing in the long line to return some gauze and tape that I didn't need after all and the sweet relish that I accidentally bought instead of the dill. Instead of waiting to try another day to make my silly return, I chose instead to wait behind the five people in front of me with only one person working the return counter. One person...REALLY?!?! WHY IS THAT??!!?! Of course, this now means that we have been in the store for more than five minutes and it has exceeded the amount of time for which Kendal can go without having to visit the restroom. I swear, this child has a crazy, disgusting obsession for using the bathroom wherever we go. It's so gross!! Needless to say, three people in front of me and four people behind me, she starts...



K: Mama I need to use the restroom



Me: You can wait till were finished



K: No Mama, I really need to go



Me: (totally exasperated) Kendal, I really don't want to get out of line to take you to the bathroom. Look at all the people behind me, we'll have to wait in line again. Let's get this returned and then we'll go to the restroom. You can wait a few minutes.



K: (in a voice too loud so that everyone can hear) Mama, I really need to go. I have to go POOP!

I hear a few chuckles as I am shushing her and telling her not to be so loud. I still choose not to leave with my 3 little items to bring back on another day instead telling her to go straight to the restroom and come straight back to me OR I will meet her in the bathroom if (by some miracle), I finish first. The other two, upon seeing their sister departing from our current location start up. One asking where she's going, the other informing me that she is leaving. I let them in on where she is going (as if it's some big secret) only to have them all of a sudden need to go potty too. Of course they do *sarcasm* because why not?! At one point, Bransyn is holding herself telling me it's starting to come out. Remember, we are in a line with about five or six other people at this point, all seeing what is playing out. I'm sure the line didn't seem like it was taking as long for them as it did for me, they had a live comedy (not at all comical to me) happening right in front of them. Well, I'm not real big on Kendal going to the restroom by herself so I'm definitely not letting the other two crazies go off unattended so I tell them that they are just going to have to wait and deal with it.

P: But Mama we really need to go

Me: It's almost our turn you're going to have to wait

B: (holding herself again) It's really going to come out

Me: Well then I guess you'll just have pee on the floor in front of everyone

P and B: But Mama...

Me: (bending down to their faces with clenched teeth) You did not need to go potty until you found out Kendal was going! You are not going to the bathroom by yourself! You better not say one more word about it! I am next (hallelujah!) , my return will take a minute, go sit on those benches until I tell you to get up and then we will go to the bathroom! DO...YOU...UNDERSTAND...ME??!!

Both little heads nod up and down and they slowly walk over to the two benches and each lays on one. I FINALLY get my return made and head to the bathroom so they can go potty and to see what is taking Kendal so long. When we walk in, Kendal is washing her hands and I tell the other two to hurry up and go potty.

B: Maybe I don't need to go now

I was thinking that it was very possible that my head was going to explode right off of my shoulders

Me: (clenched teeth again) You better get in that stall and go potty after the show you just put on for everybody in the return line

She does and while waiting for them, Kendal has something "important" to tell me.

K: Mama when I was washing my hands, a Walmart employee came out of the bathroom and was going to leave without washing her hands

Me: (not really interested in this conversation since I am still irritated) Really? That's gross!

K: I know. I asked her if she was going to wash her hands because the sign on the door says that employees need to wash their hands before going back to work

Me: (totally interested now and laughing) Oh, no you did not!

K: Uh-huh and she came back, but she only ran her hands under the water, she didn't use soap

Me: How come you didn't tell her that the sign also said to wash with soap?

K: (smiles and shrugs shoulders) I don't know

Laughing together, we made sure the other two got their hands washed so we can now begin the grocery shopping process. You would think that I would have called it quits and just headed home, but there were several things that were must haves, so I said a little prayer and got done as quick as possible. Thankfully, the shopping process went much smoother than the return process. Imagine that!! ;-)

Until next time...

3 comments:

CRIM said...

it reminds me of when in florida a man comes out of the bathroom at bass pro and wants to know if i have two red headed boys - whom i've been standing outside waiting for for about 10min - of course i answer - why? to which he says -well - there are two red headed boys playing in the faucets making a big mess!!!! so at this point i don't care whose tush i see and charge into the bathroom breathing fire!!!!!!!:-)

The Horton Family said...

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA! Sass, that one made me laugh out loud! Sooooooo our lives! I'm sorry pal but hey, maybe Kendal taught that employee a lesson!!!!

Valerie said...

Duane and I are both laughing at Kendal telling the WalMart employee the rules. Duane says more people need to be like Kendal.

I can totally relate to the need to use EVERY public restroom. Ella is the same way. Just today within 5 minutes of being at the mall, and in the middle of ordering lunch, Ella says she has to go to the bathroom. We go. Within 5 minutes of being in Pottery Barn (20 minutes after using the bathroom) she says she has to go again. I told her no. During this exchange Wills squirms out of the stroller, without me seeing him go, and disappears. Trying to track him down distracted Ella enough that we didn't have to make another trip to the public restroom.

Why do I try to run errands with my kids?